I'm naked right now #YOLO

Here comes a rant..sorry

While I may not be naked RIGHT NOW, I tend to spend a fair amount of time around my dorm shirtless, or on a good day (if i visited the gym maybe?) in my underwear. And honestly, I don't think that's all that weird. One of my roommates does the same thing..shirtless at least...and I've seen probably half the people on my floor without a shirt on at one point or another. Recently, my end-of-the-night-tooth-brushing has been happening around the same time as my suit-mate. As it is midnight, I am usually in what I wear to bed, which does not include a shirt. Last week, as I go out to brush my teeth, shirtless, I happen to glance to the side and notice that my suit-mate appears to be putting on a shirt, to then come outside and brush his teeth.

Now I am going to make some generalizations/assumptions. One, my suit-mate is not allergic to air, or that there was some other reason outside of self-consciousness to wear a shirt to brushing his teeth. Two, that he is not SO homophobic to assume that if he is next to me shirtless I will try to jump his bones. And three, I'll admit that he is not in the best shape. ****BUT I have seen people, in this building, in worse shape than he is in, and vastly more naked in more public areas. So with all of those accounted for, I think that it just comes down to comfort. What are you comfortable with the people around you knowing?

So in most things you do, from your internet life to your relationships with your grandparents, you have to choose how much you are willing to share. And the same goes for your body. Sharing a lot can be seen as "showing too much," or being cocky, but there is a healthy spot where you can share enough that its subtly-sexy, and still confident. This "confident-sexy spot" (a self-coined term), in my opinion, is the same for everyone. Regardless of how you look, the amount you show, to seem confident and sexual but not seem overly egotistical (or in some people's case, too confident about something you shouldn't be so confident about), is the same.

So what's the point? Reaching this "confident-sexy spot" probably gives you a boost in most people's minds. I'd give anyone who is confident in what they have an extra 2 points.

Now here are some made up figures:

-People who are confident are 10,000x more likely to become president
-If you don't wear a shirt to bed one night, the next day, you will get asked out

But in all seriousness, be confident in yourself. Even if you aren't perfect (based on the assumption that both Ryan Reynolds and Natalie Portman do not read my blog, you are not perfect), I guarantee that you will benefit. And if you can't be confident, FAKE IT. Other people will believe it, and you'll probably get a little bit closer to as well. And anyway, YOLO.

xoxo,
Sean Jesse Parker

We don't like labels #shiteveryonesays

Skidmore College has about 2,400 students, which isn't a lot. But I think that it's pretty safe to say that I am close with someone in every different relationship imaginable. International long-distance, national long-distance, dating someone who is still in high school, dating someone who has graduated college, consistent "f***-buddies," sting of one-night-stands, celibacy, "celibacy," open relationships, exclusive hook-up buddy. Pretty much spans it all, and all of it can be found in this tiny, small town, liberal arts school. Amazing.

But the funny thing about college relationships, is that perhaps 80% of the people in the relationships listed above, would label their relationship in false way. Whether you think that trying to break a string of hooking up with the same douchey lax-bro is the same as not being in a string of hook ups with the same douchey lax-bro, or if you are in denial that your long distance relationship is open, people tend to avoid correctly labeling their relationships here. And my favorite example of this is "single by choice."

Now the obvious rational for mislabeling your relationship status is safety. If you say, "oh, its just a fling," it will be far easier to act like it doesn't bother you when things end (but we all know you're crying about it inside). But I think there is a less focused upon, but perhaps just as influential process that goes into labeling. The effort in your relationship to please your partner. I believe that relationships of all kinds can be compared to writing. You want to give your "reader" a positive experience, you want your "reader" to come back after their first "reading," and you want your "reader" to want to tell everyone all about how good your "book" was. And how do we do this? 

Logos, make it seem logical. What to know what doesn't really make sense, but people do anyway? Long distance. So go ahead, lie about how you aren't still dating your girl back home. Cause that makes more sense. 

Ethos, credibility. Whatever you think they're looking for, thats what you're looking for too. If they just want to hook up, you "just want to hook up." 

Pathos, amor. There's absolutely nothing sweet or cute about having a guy to mess around with every night and avoid every day. The label "f***-buddy," is rarely used by self-respecting young men and women.

I think that it is widely recognized that communication is key in relationships; however, we are constantly lying about our desires and thoughts about our relationships. While this goal of this process is to please your partner, its a shame that we as a community cannot be honest with our significant others, and the people around us.

xoxo,

Sean Jesse Parker

I'm going to reference pop culture #sorrynotsorry

Hello everyone!

As most of you probably know, a t.v. sitcom called "Sex and the City" used to rule the lives of adult women and teenage gays. The show's main character, Carrie Bradshaw, wrote a column for a New York City newspaper, called "Sex and the City." This column was more than just the title of the show, it also provided the sitcom's writers with the ability to comment on New York sexuality through veil of a newspaper article. That is what this blog is for me. Carrie was played by an actress (or actor..whichever is politically correct these days) by the name of Sarah Jessica Parker. This was the reasoning for my name here.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my entries.

xoxo,
Sean Jesse Parker